Whether you feel a new year is a new way to transform and make real change in your life, change that is obviously necessary or you feel you just want to keep doing what you were doing isnt anyones place to say.
 As we started a new cycle around the sun, the end to another Gregorian calendar, greeted with the ups and downs of an old year, popular culture does bring the idea of resolutions into full view yet again. 
I was tempted not to write a New Year related post and not really because am a little pessimistic or a cynic at times but, since its weeks into the year and 1 out of 10 people are still strong into their resolutions, I find it really funny and worth the talk. 
Life goals, family goals, professional goals, relationship goals and pretty much any other goals you could think of began to surface on the internet as the New Year blossoms. Its only a matter of time when you would be intimidated by these posts and start to feel bad for yourself, admire these that want these big changes and would in one way or another want to get on that train too.
These talks have a familiar tone of seriousness and a big helping of disapproval, dont you think? If you are not living life in a particular way, living the American dream, lost weight, have some unshakeable confidence, getting into the entrepreneurship game or anything that the writer of said book, article or what the social media so happens to be selling and thinks is right, you are doomed, screwed and very lifeless.
You go through the net, reflect and see others making it big and you wonder if you are living life right. People seem to be living their lives, happy and embracing life as is. Well, thats what you think. And you are not wrong. Some people are actually genuinely happy. 
Why, you may ask? Because they are not running after your dreams and not trying to achieve your goals. They know what makes them happy and chasing ones dreams does that for them. We dont always have it figured out but, in truth, New Year or not, one must be always realistic with their own life.

Your originality is what makes you special and different from the crowd. If you want to do something different, just do it. 

 In the words of Walt Whitman:

Know “That you are here–that life exists, and identity;

That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
If you havent done much or built your future in your 20s, you are a nobody. If you havent earned enough money before 35 or have a family, what have you been doing? 
Of course, these are essential and make up 21st century life but, you would also agree to the notion or thought that we all are different, see life differently and we all have sets of choices and goals. What makes me happy doesnt necessarily make you happy too. 
You could have different wants and aspirations. You know what makes people sad and in the long run makes people not make real good change and good life choices? Expectations and Comparison. 
Why not just live your life and be always smart about what you do year in and year out, take responsibility and make the best of it.
Neil degrasse Tyson once said 

“that the atoms that comprise life on earth, the atoms that make up the human body can be traced in the stars above and when one looks at the night sky, yes one may realize that we are part of the universe but in truth one should also know that the universe is in us as well.

You may feel small but your atoms are part of this universe. We have this sense of connectivity, we all want to feel connected, we want to feel special, relevant and thats what we are just by being alive.

We are made of the same fundamental elements and atoms of everything in the universe. You dont need anyone or anything to help or define who you are, you truly have everything you need within you. 

You are already connected with everything in the universe and its a part of who you are. It is important you know how important and powerful you are in crafting yourself and the world that we all live in.”

You are strong and you are stronger than you think, The message of philosophy in general isnt that it reminds as to start living or to live at all, but with this fact, it reminds us that we can think, we can dream and we can make that dream a reality. So make each day count. Dont just exist, LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   



Excerpt: Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

(Introductory Note: Zarathustra is a character who embodies the wisdom and ideals of Nietzsche’s philosophy. Zarathustra is speaking to his followers in this passage.)

 I now go away alone, my disciples! You too now go away and be alone! Thus I want it. Truly, I advise you: go away from me and guard yourselves against Zarathustra! And better still: be ashamed of him! Perhaps he has deceived you. The man of knowledge must not only love his enemies, he must also be able to hate his friends. One repays a teacher badly if one always remains only a pupil. And why, then, should you not pluck at my laurels? You revere me; but what if your reverence tumbles one day? Beware that a statue does not strike you dead! You say you believe in Zarathustra? But of what importance is Zarathustra? You are my believers: but of what importance are all believers?

You had not yet sought yourselves: then you found me. Thus do all believers; therefore all faith amounts to so little. Now I bid you lose me and find yourselves; and only when you have all denied me will I return to you. 


Part One, Of the Bestowing Virtue, based on R.J. Hollingdale and Walter Kaufmann translations.

No matter how wise Zarathustra or any teacher may be, and no matter how much we may benefit from their guidance, Nietzsche reminds us that ultimately we must each find our own way. Thus his hero, Zarathustra, a spiritual teacher of mankind, removes himself from his students lest they remain his pupils and disciples forever.
There is a dignity to each individual human being that Nietzsche defends, especially against the danger posed by a sage such as himself. If we worship him or any other sage, if our admiration for his genius turns into blind faith in his teachings, then we are in grave danger of losing our independence, our ability to think for ourselves, and ultimately our ability to be ourselves. To make an idol of anyone or any system of thought, Nietzsche warns, is like creating a statue that will eventually crush your own spirit. 
Of course one is to some degree shaped and perhaps even permanently influenced by one’s teachers, and Zarathustra does not ask his students to forget him absolutely. But there is a real sense in which every student at some point needs some space from his teachers, so that he can give shape to himself free of their immediate influence. This freedom may seem to involve a wholesale rejection and separation, and locally that may be true. 
The pull to remain in the teacher’s orbit can be powerful, and one might even need to go to the polar extreme to free oneself from it, to gain the necessary distance. Thus Nietzsche speaks in strong terms, of “guarding” yourself against and being “ashamed” of your teacher, “hating your friends”, and “losing” and “denying” your former guide. Nowhere may this be more true than in the parent-child relationship. Zarathustra sets a model for all teachers and parents, to not only tolerate this separation, but to actively support it in order to foster a healthy independence and individuality.
As Zarathustra and all wise teachers and parents know, there will be a time for reunion and reconciliation, all the more meaningful because between independent individuals—“only when you have all denied me will I return to you.” Thus Nietzsche offers his philosophy for our reflection, and, like many other great thinkers, his insights are often deeply instructive. But Nietzsche insists that in learning from him we never give up our own selves: “This – is now my way, – where is yours?’ Thus I answered those who asked me ‘the way’. For the way – that does not exist

Guest Post From The Daily Philosopher


​The garden is one of the two great metaphors for humanity. The garden is about life and beauty and the impermanence of all living things. The garden is about feeding your children, providing food for the tribe. Its part of an urgent territorial drive that we can probably trace back to animals storing food. Its a competitive display mechanism, like having a prize bull, this greed for the best tomatoes and English tea roses. Its about winning; about providing society with superior things; and about proving that you have taste, and good values, and you work hard. And what a wonderful relief, every so often, to know who the enemy is. Because in the garden, the enemy is everything: the aphids, the weather, time. And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth, and growth, and beauty, and danger, and triumph. And then everything dies anyway, right? But you just keep doing it.

Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott.

Lets say you want to create a beautiful garden. Prepare the land i.e. you pull the weeds, till the soil and plant and tend the seeds of the flowers, trees and plants youd like to see one day bloom.
Nice, right?
If we want to create a beautiful life, the good life, weve gotta treat our minds and lives with the same care we would a gardenpulling out the weed thoughts ,behaviors, actions and only planting the seeds we want to see come to fruition.
In other words, if you want a life filled with joy, love, appreciation, kindness, generosity, wisdom, patience, courage, creativity, and enthusiasm, PLANT THOSE SEEDS. 
So nature has her fair share of lessons for the good life.
To think youre going to get that goodness, strength and beauty, when youre constantly sowing the seeds of anger, fear, greed, impatience, laziness, half-assness, entitlement and hate, 
This just isnt very wise, huh?
So What seeds are you planting, o dear gardener?
What metaphor would you use to describe your picture of how life is supposed to work for you? How do we choose to view life?
One way we do so is the use of metaphors. In his book, Notebook from a Friend  A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Charge of Your Life, Anthony Robbins says “Behind every metaphor is a system of beliefs. When you choose a metaphor to describe your life, or your situation, you choose the beliefs it supports too. This is why you want to be careful about the way you describe your worldto yourself or to anyone else.”
Of course, this use is one inspiring way to make life, a little less random and more pragmatic, a human craft from the parables of old to the narratives of today’s cinema as means to help us understand a big truth which cant be fully expressed, or accurately portrayed by the use of common or intellectual tongue.
What metaphor do you use to describe your life? Will you stick with that image, or change it? Hear is why I think the use of the great two metaphors i.e. the river and garden are not just rich with wisdom but, paint a vivid picture to what it may mean to embrace the act of living, and at best, are lovely, simple and calm fruits to the soul.
Here is why they resonant more than most life metaphors to me and perhaps why they can be said to be the greatest and somewhat bounce off each other in such a rich harmony.
Because so much of life is learning that living life well is so much about expectations; and how we react and later act to the said expectations that we  shaped by how we view life.
Your metaphor about what life is and is supposed to be really determines your life experience.  If you have a faulty view, you may not end up with a faulty life but may miss an otherwise ok one.  Your experience matches your worldview.


Pail Coelho says the river reminds us that we are always doing things for the first time. We should face these novelties with joy, not with fear  because it is useless to fear what cannot be avoided. A river never stops running.
Avail yourself to the unconventional, whatever you do above all be determined and dont get frustrated or give frustration the last word.
Sailing on the river of life isnt always a linear course, so be patient. Its a sailboat ride. And the weather changes, and the currents change, and the wind changes.

In life, we travel up stream, through the current of society. More often than we want stuff won’t pan out as you wish, but dont oppose or blame society. Society is in a situation of its on. Resist the temptation to renounce it, your time and energy are better off somewhere.
When hardship or torrents of life prevails say, Thats life” and marshal your dignity to navigating the disappointment the best you can. When the water calms and society tosses me out, is it wiser to stay the course or find another way?
You have to accept that in order to ultimately arrive where you want, you must allow course corrections often, be humble and accept the way of the journey.  You even have to allow for what might appear to be detours, repairs, unexpected routes, new discovery and failures being your greatest lessons.
The old stoic adage reminds us to know that not everything is within your control, only your response and attitude. So as with us and the river, we have to navigate with a strategy.
So much of life is beyond our control, and to tame this mighty road completely may be our demise, but that doesnt mean we have to simply be victims, for our sailing is surely within our control, shall we chatter the wind in the direction we aspire?
Where men see trouble, we sail and see opportunity, I can choose my attitude.  I can choose my environment.  I can choose my behavior.  I can choose to learn and build my strategy to overcome a task, I can choose to stay and not go.
Rear Admiral Grace Hopper once said A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things. A Ship is strong, so should we build ourselves to be strong .The storms shall pass.
Ships may sail out but, they always return to port. This essential maintenance is scheduled in, to keep it strong, to extend its life, so it can keep on carrying its cargo. How important is it for us to adopt and manage good habits and take care of ourselves uniquely each and every day.

An old farmer was once asked at a meeting of the Agricultural Congress to give his opinion on the best slope of land for the raising of a particular kind of   fruit.  “It does not make so much difference,” said the old man, about the slope of the land as the slope of the man.” ‘Many a farmer who has the right slope makes a good living and gets a competence on very poor soil,  while the farmer who does not slope the right way barely exists upon the richest soil. Happiness does not depend so much upon our being favorably environed as upon the slope of our mind. It is not enough to extract happiness from ideal conditions; any one can do that.  But it is the self -mastered, the self -poised soul who can get happiness out of the most inhospitable surroundings.  “Paradise is here or nowhere. You must take your joy with you or you will never find it.

Orisen Swett Madden

Just as you should have a vision for your garden, so to with life. What kind of life do you want to have? What flowers do you want to bloom, what soil is good for you and how do you achieve nourishment? What do you want to do or have, and experience in your garden?
Plant the seeds that will bear the fruit that are most important to you. Then, work with the seasons of your life if you wish, you can try planting different seeds. Seeds of love, kindness, right speech and generosity .You just cant plant too many things at the same time. If we dont consciously reap good fruit, the world will lay waste to our gardens. You Reap What You Sow.
Many people take a look at their lives, they dont like what they see, and they wonder what went wrong. Ask yourself, what mental seeds to we choose to plant daily? Are you looking for the so called greener pastures? Unaware of the Eden, you are living in and graced with every day?
The garden teaches us to prune negative people, thoughts and emotions from our lives wisely, to learning to bend with the challenges of Life and let go. To adapt to the hardships of lifes storms and think on our feet. The garden also teaches us to bask in the beauty of handwork, the brightness of creation and to always appreciate the small things and the course of growth with any projection.
Depending on what these factors are, some goals in your garden will be much easier for you to achieve than others. So make sure that you choose goals that are a good fit for you. As a gardener, analyze the environment and the circumstances you find yourself in. A garden needs constant tending, this requires we have the patience to create truth, love, beauty and goodness in anything we set our minds to.
All you can do is take the action that is most likely to produce the results that you want, and then patiently await the results. As with ships, many other things which are not within our control can be damaged and are no strange to harsh winds, be flexible and look for ways to keep moving forward.
To this, I celebrate the river and garden’s rich timely messages, to this I say be ever an art, to use flowers and fruit to paint, and the flow of water as a majestic canvas, and our lives a beautiful creation, we the artist, our lives all the more worth it.”

Does Heaven speak? The four seasons pursue their courses, and all things are continually being produced, but does Heaven say anything?



Patience has been described through the ages as the Mother of all virtues. In its self, talking about patience numerous times as a virtue and its importance, may feel overused or underwhelming.

James Hayes states during the past 100 years, the rate of change has accelerated, with it, the pace of events and expectations of fast decisions and actions as such resulting into conflict between unrealistic expectations and realitys challenges of our patience.

Despite, the rush of modern events and affairs against time, thought and progress, being impatient is obviously unwise and unnecessary. Rushing trees and people is a ready formula for weakness and failure. Embracing the power of patience takes strength, meaningful planning, self-analysis and a healthy amount of conscious restraint.

Someone who is able to embrace patience challenges lifes challenges with the inner knowing that the calm, composed and reflective mind will always overcome as it remains in the loving embrace of wisdom.
Wisdom in this case, being happy to wait and being prudent enough, because one has learnt through experience that waiting produces honorable fruits and as such patience is a persevering response to the uncertainty of an absurd world.

It recognizes that impatience generates no peace of heart or mind and causes the mind to lose focus, clarity and perspective. However, for most people in this day and age, patience feels like a chore or some duty to keep the peace or hold ones pride. 

We are easily fatigued and stressed by its request to keep waiting and yet, if we learn to wait, being patient comes from an understanding that the outcome you seek is most assured by doing whats sound, this means foregoing and embracing the desired outcome that you are justly entitled to and acting in accordance with your rational conscience thought and simply allowing the destination to take care of itself.

“Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.”

Hayes further states An Admirer once remarked to the great pianist Paderewski on how much patient effort he must have invested to perfect his art. Paderewskis casual reply is classic, stating that Everyone has patience. I learned to use mine 

Admittingly, one of the hardest things in life is to practice patience in the face of cruelty and unfairness. When the world beats you down, insults your being, when all things constantly go wrong, when anger fills your soul, when all your plans seem like nothing and you never see good progress. Patience is more than just surviving or a will to survive and persist. It is more than waiting.
Patience is about the courage to continue, the strength to smile through pain, and the hope that no matter how rough the weather – the storm will pass. Being patient has a lot to offer.

Zig Ziglar tells the story of a Chinese Bamboo Tree.  When this particular seed of the Chinese Bamboo tree is planted, watered and nurtured, for years it doesnt outwardly grow as much as an inch. Nothing happens for the first year. Theres no sign of growth. Not even a hint.
 The same thing happens  or doesnt happen  the second year. And then the third year. The tree is carefully watered and fertilized each year, but nothing shows. No growth. No anything.

So it goes as the sun rises and sets for four solid years. The farmer and his wife have nothing tangible to show for this labor or effort. Then, along comes year five. After five years of fertilizing and watering have passed, with nothing to show for it  The bamboo tree suddenly sprouts and grows eighty feet in just SIX WEEKS! 

Did the little tree lie dormant for four years only to grow exponentially in the fifth? Or, was the little tree growing underground, developing a root system strong enough to support its potential for outward growth in the fifth year and beyond? The answer is, of course, obvious. Had the tree not developed a strong unseen foundation it could not have sustained its life as it grew.


In his work, Fredrick Nietzsches remarks about patience seem to be birds of different feathers. One interpretation is that, patience is an instrumentally valuable capacity, but the exercise of patience is not always virtuous or, is not always, in Nietzsches view, noble. 
A different interpretation is that patience is a virtue, but that the weak person has misappropriated the term patience to describe traits that simply are not themselves expressions of virtue at least not as Nietzsche sees it. 

In our everyday language, patience may be used to describe a capacity to remain calm, forbearing, and steadfast when faced with various delays and frustrations, which can be put to virtuous or vicious uses. In this sense, patience simply describes a particular psychological state.

On the other hand, we might reserve the term patience for the virtuous exercise of the capacity to remain calm, forbearing, and steadfast; here patience serves as the name of a virtuous composure.

In the latter sense, we dont have to be too patient, and losing our patience would always be a bad thing. We could call this, the Aristotelian way of patience, since Aristotle prefers to use the virtue terms in view of degrees, on his golden mean as with courage, the corresponding sides reflect cowardice to a lower extent and rashness to a higher extent. 

The basic idea is simply that there are situations in which it would be wrong or foolish to wait calmly, or to continue waiting, or to be forbearing and otherwise patient. To be patient at such times would be to permit the stupidity or injustice of others, perhaps to let them walk all over oneself, being an extreme pacifist is not being patient at all.

Through the hell and high water of life, Patience does truly mean power, learning how and when to act patiently is an incredible virtue of self-mastery and an overall attribute of the good life. 

The easiest thing you can ever do in any hardship is just give up, anyone can be impatient but, it does take a strong willed, growing individual to fight and embrace the heat of the moment with dignity, knowledge, strength, love and compassion for self and others with patience.

“Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is timing. It waits on the right time to act, for the right principles, and in the right way.” 

Fulton J. Sheen


With freedom comes independence, individuality and self-expression. To ensure that we enjoy this freedom, we protect said freedoms. Safety in our jobs, money, insurance, relationships and more. Despite all this, do we ever feel completely safe or ever insured that the walls we build will withstand the storms of life?  

Great cities of old bear testimony to life’s sorrowful realities. What stood must at a time fall. Your next step could be your biggest mistake, you don’t control the bigger cause and effect realities that surround your life. From the small life threating diseases to the next nuclear bomb, we are left feeling defenseless, fearful and at most filled with unrest.

Life growing up isn’t as promising as it was sold. We never really have enough information to make the right solid decisions over the course of a life time. We can try to hold back all these detrimental forces of life but, soon enough, we are shadowed and engulfed by the chaos and madness. 

All the things we think, feel and have placed our safety are as King Solomon puts it as “chasing the wind” and the weight of living hits us and we see and realise how desperately venerable we all are.


Our hold on life should as such and should be loose, grateful and instead of seeking total safety, we must see grandness of opportunity. Being mindful of this is helpful but, being able to live with it is another task.

Deep down, we all feel weak and hurt, mostly when our cheerful expectations go south, but to embrace a hold on the uneasy realities of life and turning them into opportunities of fortune, individuality and societal growth is our truest and greatest stronghold. 

Enduring doesn’t make you strong nor does crying make you weak. How we act and take hold of the opportunities are what makes us conquerors.  As Emerson wrote: “what lies behind us and what lies in front of us pales in comparison to what lies within us.” And that’s life’s greatest opportunity. 

His paper on ‘self-reliance” holds a bitter sweet strong but bright shining message, we can all learn from through life’s unforgiving dark storms. 
Here’s what he says in his essay Self-Reliance;

 “A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages…
There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.”
“The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is hate. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs. Being a self-reliant man and having strength means one must be a nonconformist. 
He who would gather immortal knowledge and skill must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Know yourself, and you shall have the right and power to overcome the world.”


“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t”

– Rodgers


Failure is as much a part of life as success. Whether you let it consume you or use it to make a better you. To make “better mistakes” is not just an act in itself but, should be a reflection of a universal attribute we should all have and always cultivate.
“Greek tragedy” is a perfect representation of the reality of failure. Failure does happen to all and it can happen to anyone, good or bad. This should make us not only be calmer to give the proverbial answer of shit happens” when failure comes, but this should make us kinder and loving to everyone despite their shortcomings.
Throughout history, man has greeted failure differently. From death, loss, despair to triumph, growth and lesson. In truth, humanity has had a long history of screwing up. In view of lessons learnt from failure, the general world view isn’t entirely welcoming to the concept of making “better mistakes”.
Failure is seen as detrimental and engulfing one’s value center, one is nothing if they don’t succeed or make something great happen. A common theme in ancient roman was seeing failure as not an option, success is all that matters, it’s here and now and the true signs of success are money, power, strength and respect, which in turn brought a lot of frustration and guilt around failure if not achieved.
Failure was understood as being accompanied by shame, great guilt and depression. The only true way of bearing this shame of failure was to literally kill one’s self. From time passed, the world has a broken definition of success and failure. Nobility and money are equaled to success as failure is equaled to unproductiveness and unintelligence. Despite the misconceptions surrounding the possibility and attitudes around failure, there is a lot to learn from it.
We will all fail at one point in our lives, despite whatever the definition of success or failure is. Failure is part of the journey to success but, how can we take the highway and learn from failure.

1. Success isn’t everything, hard work will not betray you.
Edison once said that it was ten thousand failures led him to success in inventing the light bulb. This is mostly quoted in relation to encouragement, not giving up but, it also surprisingly speaks about hard work. In truth, if you work to the best of your ability, do whats required and still fail you really have nothing lost.
We don’t have total control of what happens but, we do have control of how to react to what happens. Choose to have an attitude that treasures the way to your goal, just as much as achieving or not achieving your goal. Shit does happen.
2. What doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger (in this context anyway)
Famously said by Fredrick Nietzsche, reality is failure, in most of modern life that doesn’t mean death or a need for suicide. It may mean that you may not be well because of the failure, but its a new day, new opportunity, and new time to learn from your old ways build and be a better you. It may take you a lot of attempts but keep at it. Many people don’t get to where there are without little or a lot of failure, here and there.

A failure is a project that doesnt work, an initiative that teaches you something at the same time the outcome doesnt move you directly closer to your goal.
A mistake is either a failure repeated, doing something for the second time when you should have known better, or a misguided attempt (because of carelessness, selfishness or hubris) that hindsight reminds you is worth avoiding.
We need a lot more failures, I think. Failures that dont kill us make us bolder, and teach us one more way that wont work, while opening the door to things that might. 

Seth Godin

3. Failure teaches you to never give up, Success doesn’t come cheap.
It’s easy to smile, be glad and very content when you are always winning. Its boring  really… but, when you have adversity and when you do your best and if you lose, the fun can be the chase, really. And when you do succeed after all the fighting it definitely feels worth it.
Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm, said Sir Winston Churchill. Success has its roots in believing in one’s self and not deciding to quit, but striving to do better, be better and be wise.
Henry Ford was the inventor of the assembly line and American-made cars, he didn’t have an instant success. His early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company. So you failed once and want to give up, shame on you.

 Final thought
Life is a journey, life is truly what you make it. You may have to climb mountains, cross deserts, swim through seas to get what you want and as long as you are human, you will have your less than impressive moments, setbacks but, what you decide to do will make a hell of a difference to get to where you are going.

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I cant accept not trying.

Michael Jordan

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Henry Ford


​”How people experience themselves affects every moment of their existence. Their self-evaluation is the basic context in which they act and react, choose their values, set their goals, meet the challenges of life. Their responses to events are shaped in part by who and what they think they are-how competent and worthy they perceive themselves to be.

 Of all the judgments they pass in life, none is more important than the judgment they pass on themselves. To say that self-esteem is a basic human need is to say that it makes an essential contribution to the life process, that it is indispensable to normal and healthy development, that it has value for survival. 

Without positive self-esteem, psychological growth is stunted. Positive self-esteem operates, in effect, as the immune system of consciousness, providing resistance, strength, and a capacity for regeneration.”

Nathaniel Branden
The book “The psychology of self-esteem” by said author is an exploration into the idea of Self-esteem not just a “feel good concept but, Nathanial Branden also shows instead how self-esteem, rationality, perseverance, self-responsibility, and personal integrity are all intimately related.
Self-esteem calls to light an attention to building an authentic and grounded sense of self, rather than an over-inflated and unrealistic self-perception. Montaigne’s three key ways that people feel inadequate or lack self-esteem are through: discomfort with their bodies, unease at being judged and feeling intellectually inferior.
Now people of course, make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. The difference being whether you believe youre worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence).
In the end, both amount to the same thing,
Now one of the keys to truthfully and authentically being yourself and embracing your being is recognizing that youre a dynamic process, a growing being  not a fixed thing. You are a work in progress or a progressive entity and in order to properly and confidently do so self-esteem is but a must.
It goes without saying but self-esteem hones in important aspects of yourself that makes you – you. One can’t live or enjoy life with his own self approval, self-appreciation and ultimately these all add up to self-esteem.
We live in a world where everyone is a critic, you included. With self-esteem, you embrace yourself and with that comes embracing “the weakness of strength”, which means we acknowledge both the reality of the weakness and strength dwelling within us.
No one’s perfect. People and yourself will talk whether you do good or bad, right? So self-esteem comes into build a wall which makes you live with who you choose to be and be comfortable and confident about it, rather than let the chaos of your mind and others hold you captive.
Self-esteem is the greatest reminder as to why you do what you do. This means as such where the seat of your self-worth dwells.
We all feel scared, we all feel misunderstood and that we just don’t fit in but, self-esteem comes in to both agree and disagree to all these in the greater sense.
Self-esteem says “be yourself, love yourself and you will never know yourself until you just be you, learn and grow. Dont over or under think it. Being the best you can be is all that matters come success or failure.”
Only you can love yourself fully and truly. You have a will and you have that sense of consciousness, the power is indeed in your hands. No one wants to beat themselves up for no reason or for times when they didn’t know better. So instead take time to nurture and appreciate you for the basic fact that you are you.
Never let anyone steal your joy, not even you. Only when you accept yourself are you able to change you, knowing full well one should and is never defined by one’s past actions or thoughts.
Self-esteem improves by changing both your thoughts and behaviors. You must practice new thoughts and behaviors until you begin to turn the tide of your feelings about yourself. And you must continue practicing them to maintain a healthy love for yourself.
Begin making choices and decisions based on what you want, what is sound and good for you, not what you think others want for you is what the psychology of self-esteem is all about.


​Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrow which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad. 

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The idea behind the word melancholy is that it involves feelings of a degree or genre of sadness inherit to the fact that life is truly unfair and difficult and that suffering, injustice are part of life and the big universal expression and experience. 

Melancholia, in the past was considered one of the four temperaments in pre-modern medicine and proto-psychology, representing a state of low mood or depression. As at now, a person suffering from melancholic depression, life often seems meaningless or without purpose.

It is normal to want to be happy, to encourage happiness and love but, in truth we must admit to ourselves and others that indeed most of life is about grief, pain and loss. It is said that the good life is not one without suffering but one that contributes to our strength and development.

The melancholy expresses the reality that one must not be grim, miserable or alone but grasping without rage, wrath or confusion the facts of life and one must know that its rare to find a solid perpetual inner peace and that its hard to live comfortably with anyone, as well as the person we love – the good may have a hard time, the bad may be as free as a bird.

We see the world, the news – hear, read and know of peoples suffering but as much as we sorrow, sorrow as well at our own lot, we in a way regret that we are powerless to do anything and we are saddened by the mindless hurt, that can be a heartbreaking thought. 

Being betrayed, hurt, abused, misunderstood seem to be what we see and feel mostly. Life is such a shit storm, we may desire to look for answers and its not surprising that in such moments people want to take the pain away through drugs, sex, religion or whatever it is and who can blame them.

Sadness does sometimes makes sense. We learn so late about stuff, wishing to go back, change one’s actions. We feel like we have wasted time and yes we all have. The melancholy attitude makes us regret less, to not let us be held by our small and big screw ups, this is wise as opposed to that of bitterness, pain and misery making home in our hearts.

Having a melancholy mind rests in the idea that your sorrow isn’t felt alone and isn’t all about you. You are not in pain alone, your suffering belongs to humanity as a whole past, present and future. To absorb this breeds an attitude of selflessness, compassion and empathy. 

One becomes the “bigger man” which sadly is a rare virtue in our time. This idea of suffering in life shouldn’t make us desperate and lost but more forgiving, stronger, kinder and better able to focus on what really matters with the time we have.

“You can’t always go back and change but you can move forward and improve.”


​”Why should I fear death? If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which can only exist. When I do not?”


The subject of death isn’t exactly a comfortable one to anyone, but this exact fact is true and a shame in itself. The idea of loss and pain be as it many is life as is, we all do have every right to resist and to sweep the issue under the rag is but, a common emotional defense mechanism.
The very idea of death has a way of paralyzing and drowning our minds. Death is a reality and despite it being a hard pill to swallow, the best we can do as mortal beings is confront the issue, be of comfort and learn to make the best out of the life that we have now.

Whether you subscribe to an afterlife or not, when the idea of death roams the mind of someone, its common to have thoughts about;

– What one has done so far with their life?

 – What is being done and what is being planned to be done with their life?

– One wonders is it meaningful? 

– That if after I kick the bucket as they say, is it going to matter that I was here?

Of course, all these encompass a plethora of answers but, really do have a core theme about them. Like many people, I sometimes feel uneasy that one day I will die, that my family and friends. All my loved ones will as well and we will all be non-existent but, its reality. 

It is also a petty that the only real time we do give some thought to death is when someone dear to us is gone or almost left, we start thinking about what does it means, and then the thought of our own death ensnares our minds but, to know youre going to die and be prepared for it at any time, thats a better and healthier way to face this reality.

Far too often, we want a world of comfort and peace. We want to distract ourselves from what matters, what needs to be addressed and attended too because, to acknowledge what matters is an acknowledgement that we hardly conceive of it. Having a healthy and mindful approach toward death is important and necessary that way you can be actually be more involved in your life while youre living.

 Every day, that inner voice or dialogue you have with yourself that asks, Am I being the person I need to be? Is today the day? Am I ready to expect the unexpected reality of death? Am I ready to embrace death? Am I being the person I want and need to be before death comes?

Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Most of us walk around as if were sleepwalking or on autopilot. Learning how to die means we bond so strongly with every event and moment in our lives. 

We appreciate every sunset, sunrise, every walk, every phone call from our parents, every conversation with our friends, every quiet moment of reflection, every culinary delight, every simple pleasure, every sweet sound, every moment of smile and bliss.

Each instant of life would be laced with urgency and passion, memory and attention, of course we can’t remember every second and moment but, the essence of it is what we should truly grasp. We should remind ourselves of the significance that every human experience can yield and cherish each moment. Loving the good and learning from the bad.

We should pinch ourselves regularly as a reminder to appreciate the moments and people we hold dear before death arrives. We should make all days and events meaningful and memorable, monotonous ones as well and as such we choose to make more meaningful steps to make our lives, people’s lives and our future generations lives better than ours. 
By living each day as if it were our last, we relate to each life experience passionately, powerfully with embracing purpose.
Thinking about the future, we should realize that life isn’t endless and we only get to do it once. This realization is striking and should give us the desire and thought that now is a good time as any to take inventory, introspection and make clarity on things that we want to accomplish and experience in the future, when the time is right as life permits.

Although some days feel like an eternity and its easy to take life’s routine for granted, the reality is that time moves us, and if we aren’t conscious and honest with ourselves about what we want our lives to be and embrace the reality of death in ourselves and others, chances are our lives will be met with confusion, regret and heartbreak.

I don’t know what happens after we die and as far as am concerned nothing, but I do know that we have a responsibility and moral duty to ourselves to take charge, to make the best of our abilities and time as we live on earth. To do otherwise is selling ourselves short and taking the life you have for granted.

Learn and figure out what is truly important to you and create a plan to accomplish it. Make a difference in the world and engage in fulfilling tasks. Spend time with the people you care about and don’t live in fear of life passing by or let the reality of death keep your life inactive but, be aware that you are alive and be an active participant in it.

Chart your course, be your boss and fight the good fight. It’s never too late to alter its direction, as long as there’s life there is hope. The most important fact of all is that life isnt about anything except the meaning given underneath it, as well as to it and death is a reality to be embraced and accepted.

“Its not the days in our life but the life in our days”

“Those who have lived a good life do not fear death, but meet it calmly, and even long for it in the face of great suffering. But those who do not have a peaceful conscience, dread death as though life means nothing but physical torment. The challenge is to live our life so that we will be prepared for death when it comes.”



​Do you look at the vast things you can do and try, do you look at the beautiful experiences, skills and places around the world you could be at. Do you ever look out at all? Do you see the cool shit you could do, all of the exciting possibilities and projects and yet you are unable to act, you are frozen in choice. 

The more choices you have the harder it is to choose anything. Just like FOMO it can be a real mix. By definition, its one’s inability to choose in an existing number of options. Its a real thing. 

Plagues our daily lives and we may not see or notice it often. Think of it this way, like a kid in an ice cream shop, so many ice cream flavours to try but, you just can’t decide and in truth, you cant eat them all.

With the paradox of choices, making decisions becomes obsession over making the wrong decision. Fear of the wrong career, wrong love, wrong food and etc. Our ability to choose also depends on the information we are given as we strive to choose. 

In our day and age, let’s just say information isn’t a snow ball’s chance. Barry Schwartz author of “paradox of choice” advocates “the idea of good enough” that is, Most of the time, we don’t need the very best and only rarely is it worth struggling to find the best choice. 

Truth be told, being frozen in choice really means we want the best and that’s not a bad thing, we all want to make the best, get the best out of what we do but, is the best always the best?…not really..
Two things one must keep in mind when put in the box of the paradox of choice.

Firstly, theres always a lesson to learn in all options. One must view making choices as not making a lifelong commitment and choosing one path doesn’t preclude you from pursuing all of your other options either simultaneously or in the future.

Secondly, changing direction later really doesn’t equal failure and it doesn’t render the energy and hard work you’ve put pointless and meaningless. You will pick up skills, knowledge and experience. Pursuing different paths allows us to grow, learn and experience more of life.
When you are stuck, make a list of stuff you would like to pursue. Write down small steps you will do each week to get through your choice. Get more information .Taking action, even incorrect action makes it easier to take more action and correct oneself.

We like to think we can plan everything in advance, avoid pain and disappointment, we can’t. We learn from doing and remember the only wrong choice is no choice at all.